Confused

I'm so lost.
I thought my faith in you are strong.
But I noticed that I am wrong.
Too wrong to said so.
I fell, when I heard some testimony shared by friend.
I doubt.
I ask.
I compare.
I blame.
I jealous.
I keep asking why?
Why not me? and why me?

Oh, Father.
Please, tell me where am I?
I'm at the cross junction, trying to get the correct path.
I'm waiting for you to tell me which way I should go.
You told me that your grace is sufficient.
Is it I have had, and I am blunt to know that I'm having?
Yet, I keep blaming why I am not having the grace that you provide to other people.

Forgive me, Father.
For my faith is too weak.
For my doubt on you.
For my blame on you.
For my anger.
For my jealousy.
For my hatred.

For you have given all things that I need.
All things that I haven't ask, yet You provide.
Thanks, Father Lord.
For Your Spirit that awaken me.