Waiting...

I'm having a very strong feeling.... to leave. Last time, I may consider this and that before appying for a job. But not at the moment. The moment I'm thinking now is to leave here, as fast as I could. I don't know the reason. Just felt that there is no hope here. Instead of complaining, it's better to save my time and energy to look for a better job.

I understand very clearly that working in IT field is my life time job. Though my part time income is more than the full time one. But what if I pay more attention to climb higher? Maybe I can make it up side down, who knows? Anything is possible.

Just hope that the house O.C. could be obtain soon so that I can ask my dad to help me on my part time job and I concentrate to be a programmer.

Its's Time

Recently, resign is just like a trend in my company. A lot of old staff resign. Some worked for 2 years, some 4 years... some even longer, 8 years.

There are so many farewell lunch and dinner within a month. Most of them will say: it's time to leave. "It's Time". Wonder when is my time.

I just had a conversation with my best friend (my god brother) last night. I told him that I cannot see any future in my career. I have no room of improvement in my company. 27 years old, still at the same level, i.e. junior executive. He has set his target, to be a manager before 30 years old. But what about me? What's my target? Alvin used to say, I don't need to have a target, just to treat my work as my pass time, relax and enjoy. I knew he does not want me to have such pressure like him. But then i'm really suffering in this situation. This is not me. As a 27 years old youth, I must have "omph" or else I'll like a zombie, wandering around without any meaning.

But, what about my biz if I were to leave this company? Can I cope? Can I have such flexible time? I don't know. I can't see and predict the future. But God can. I know He will guide me, provide me and comfort me. With the courage, I have just clicked to apply for a job at jobstreet. I'll just leave it as normal. Whether they call me or not, just leave it to my dearest father Lord!

为什么

为什么要对我这么好？
纵使你在别人眼中是多么的不好。
唯有我知道你真实的一面。
唯有我知道其实你很好。
尽管我每一次怎样任性，你对我还是一样。
为什么？

为什么你把好的都给我，自己却接管我的旧东西？
为什么你对自己吝啬，对我慷慨？
你这样会令我很内疚。
我觉得我很不好。。。=(
我要改变自己！对你很好。。虽然我说过很多次。。 可是这次一定成功！

Stupid People

Ever heard my friend told me that, an arrogant person in my company said he hates stupid people.

I have met a lot of stupid people recently. Just as simple as ABC task and they did everything up side down! Sucks! Really make my life so miserable. Just because of the up side down task, I have to rearrange my plan and it takes me time + energy to get things done. Fed up!

Eventually, I understand why somebody hates stupid people.

偏心

最近生意比起往常明显少了很多。
不知道原因。
试图邮件给以前的旧顾客。
也没回应。
得知她生意不错。
心里面难免不平衡。
可我常安慰自己，这一份收入是多赚的。
就别那么小心眼了。
所以我干脆不去她那里看。
有个时期没上那里了。
不知道她怎样？

有时候我心里的魔鬼会说，起初是我教她怎么做的。
可天使会说，是她找你一起做的，要不然就做不成了啊！
然后天使就会胜利，然后我就会祝福她。
有时候魔鬼会要我埋怨上帝偏心，特别照顾她。
然后天使就会说，难道你比她为上帝付出的还多吗？你有什么资格去埋怨上帝呢？
天使再次得胜，然后我会向上帝道歉。

其实，我应该知道，我现在所拥有的一切是上帝的祝福，上帝给我的恩典。
反之，我给了上帝什么？
只不过一星期一天，两小时的崇拜。
我还要奢求上帝给我什么呢？
看来我还有很多东西要学 - 感恩！

原谅

有时候我在想，原谅一个人是对的吗？
就算你原谅了那人，可是人家未必会像你这样想，可以忘记以前。
所以，还是不原谅算了。

然后我心里面又有另一个回音说：
上帝也原谅你啊！即使你做了多少错事，他也还是一次又一次的在原谅你。

是啊！因为上帝是最慈爱的！没有人能像他那样，忘记我们的过去。
所谓只记功，不记过。
所以啊，就算别人怎么看，怎么想，我还是原谅了。
即使他们还放不下以前。
我的心啊，轻松了许多。

如果

如果一个人告诉你，他怕他没能力照顾你，你会怎样？
如果是我，我会告诉他，我很独立，我可以照顾自己。
如果你爱那人，你根本不会怕你没能力照顾他，而是当下尽全力去照顾他，去保护他，根本不会想和他分开。

如果一个人告诉你，他和你没有缘份，你会怎样？
如果是我，我会告诉他，相爱不需要缘份，只有单恋被爱的人用缘份作为借口。
如果你爱那人，你根本不管有缘或无缘都会想和他在一起，甚至想把缘份操控在自己手里。不爱干脆说不爱，懦弱的人把责任推卸在缘份的文字上

如果一个人告诉你，他还是想过单身的生活，你会怎样？
如果是我，我会告诉他，在你还没做决定前你该想想到底自己想怎样才去行动。
如果你爱那人，你不会已经和他在一起而另一边霜想过单身生活，而是想和他度过每一时，每一分，甚至每一秒。

消化了，才知道原来是不爱了。