以马内利

昨天在主日崇拜里牧师用一个故事做结束。
故事里一个名叫李真真的少女在绝望中写了这个对联：
年年失望年年望；
处处难寻处处寻。
横批：春在哪里？

一个名叫郭沫若的帮她改了此对联为：
年年失望年年望；
事事难成事事成。
横批：春在心里。

因此而救了李真真的性命。这故事并不是明间故事，而是真实的，透过寻找器可以找到。


牧师很巧妙的换了横批为：
横批：主在心里；以马内利。

主啊，是的，你确实每一时每一刻与我们同在，在你字典里没有请假。
主啊，求你将我分别为圣，做你所喜悦的女儿。
主啊，求你圣灵浇灌我，让我有智慧与机会向身边的人述说你的福音。
主啊，感谢主你让我每天在你的恩典下渡过。
主，我爱您！

Me

Ever, I was a negative person. I see things in gray colour. I hate being borned, I hate this world and I keep asking my friend why did my parents bring me into this world without my permission.

All sorts of thinking caused me to feel meaningless of life and I was living like a zombie. I keep working and working, day till night, Monday till Sunday. But I still feel that I have nothing, I'm still a loser! My family like to compare me with my cousin and others. They said that my cousin could even earn more without a degree certification. At that moment, I keep asking myself: what I am? and why I am here to being compare? Why to get a degree certification? What for to study so hard? I was not happy, I was under such pressure, as my family thought money is everything. They keep washing my mind to earn more money.Life is so meaningless. My heart wasn't fill by the money that I have earned, the void and emptiness has occupied my heart.

I was thinking to get mad so that I'm not concious to think those life issues. I hope that I could meet with an accident to end my life and leave this ugly world. I hate the ugly side of this world, robbery, raping, murdering, kidnaping...all sorts of negative news. I have a mindset of not bringing new life into this ugly world. Human is selfish, cruel, cold hearted and I do not want a life to enter this ugly world.

Bible said that, God so love this world even human has betrayed Him. He gave us His only son, Jesus, to be sacrifice on the cross, and to use His precious blood to wash away our sin. This is His way to show us His mercy and love. He wants a good relationship between Him and human. Even we have sinned, done a lot of things that wasn't good, yet, He still loves us. Why? No reason, the love is just like a parents love their children with no reason, with no condition. He wants human to repent, to change, to obey His word, for He is the father and the creation.

My friend asked me, why did God allow human to sin? God gave human freedom. He doesn't want to create a robot, with all the program set and under His control. He gave human freedom to choose. That is why human can live so freely without the control of God. Our conscience will let us know what to choose, the correct one or the wrong one. As God's children, we knew that we should obey Him, to choose the correct one. Human sinned is because of the temptation of Satan. That is why Adam and Eve was asked to leave the garden of Eden, and sin entered this world.

I was revel in earning money. My time was full of earning money. I thought I was so high and successful among my friends. I was proud, and this proudness came out from my heart unconciously. I felt that I am at higher level. Until one incident strike me. Alvin had a sudden epilepsy when I was sleeping at a very peaceful night. I was so thankful to God that I was awake, as usually I am a very heavy sleeper. Without any consideration, I inserted my fingers into his mouth. My fingers felt like breaking and I was so nervous. I do not know what to do and keep shouting his name to make sure he can return to concious. Finally, he was awake and I was relief. I'm so worry that epilepsy will hit him again. I keep praying for him. I realize that only through prayer, he can be saved and only through prayer, I could have peace. From there, I realize that how great is God's love. He gave us His son, Jesus. Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross, showed us the unlimited and uncondition love from God! The pain of my finger awaken me. How much pain was Jesus suffering on the cross, just to wash away our sin. He was being beat by horsewhip while taking the wooden cross to the place where he was being hang. My pain is nothing if compare to the pain Jesus faced.

I realize the grace and love from God. He loves me, in Him, I found the meaning of life. When I was a sinner, God tressure me. In Him, I'm His lovely daughter. I free my heart from hatred, but of course I still have room of improvement, which I should have love my enemy, too! I no longer take but I learn to give. I was so free and light when I really let go. My heart is soo free, when I forgive people. I could feel the joy inside my heart.

My friend asked me, if you said God is love, but why did He allow bad things to happend in good people? The biblical answer is there are no “good” people. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that all of us are tainted by and infected with sin (Ecclesiastes 7:20; Romans 6:23; 1 John 1:8). Romans 3:10-18 could not be clearer about the non-existence of “good” people: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of God before their eyes.” Every human being on this planet deserves to be thrown into hell at this very moment. Every second we spend alive is only by the grace and mercy of God. Even the most terrible misery we could experience on this planet is merciful compared to what we deserve, eternal hell in the lake of fire. Yes, sometimes bad things happen to people who seem undeserving of them. But God allows things to happen for His reasons, whether or not we understand them. Above all, however, we must remember that God is good, just, loving, and merciful. Often things happen to us that we simply cannot understand. However, instead of doubting God's goodness, our reaction should be to trust Him. ”Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

God wants us to see everything with love, for He is the love. For what reason I hate others? As He loves me when I was a sinner. He is the one and only one who has the right to judge a person. I'm just a ordinary person, with bad intention in my heart, with poison of vipers on my lips and I have no rights to judge or comment.

I love the creation of God, the sky, the cloud, the sea, the mountain.... When I went to Pulau Redang in 2008, I witness all the beautiful creation of God in the sea! How touched it was in my heart. He is the creation of the universe... and how great that He gave me the grace to enjoy His creation. The cloud and the raise of sun , which I saw when I travel in the plane. Everything that He created, is so nicely done and is indeed perfect! I love to live and live to love! I enjoy the creation of God. For how many people in this world appreciate what God has done for us? For how many people in this world has destroyed the beautiful part of this world? See things in a good and bright side with the love of God. I love my life, I love Jesus, I love Jehovah, for His love, when I was a sinner.

很想

从来，我就是一个很感性的人。
我常被情绪控制。
今天，突然很想我的朋友，一群很好很好的朋友。

自从中学后，我就告诉自己，朋友不过如此。
在这公司里，我找回以前的感觉。
那青涩的感觉。
没有戒备，没有保留，一群一心相待的朋友。
我在他们身上学习。
学习分享，学习不只为自己想，学习宽恕。

很想以前，很想很想。

人会因着时间而改变。
思想改变。
要求改变。
宝贵十架的爱永远不会改变。
那是上帝向人立的约。

主啊！有时候我很软弱。
甚至怀疑你对我的爱。
也怀疑你还看到我吗？
但你说，你今日爱我，你永远爱我。
主啊！我做了那么多伤害主你的事，你依然爱着我。
主你依然祝福我。
我怎么面对你呢？

恳求主你给我立志自新，回到主你的宝座前。
主恳求主你让我从此活着圣洁的生命，使我不再软弱。
恳求主你让一切不义离我远去，洁净我的心思意念。
也恳求主你让我不再沉淀于作恶里，因主你说，在基督里我们是新造的人，旧事已过，都变成新的了。
不再让我活在罪里，就因着主你不曾放弃我。

放弃

终于，好朋友的婚宴已圆满结束。
很替她高兴。
愿上帝的恩典满满的赐给她。
愿她俩的婚姻可以在上帝的爱中得以美满。

尤其是在教会宣誓的那一刻最为感动。
在父上帝那里的见证，在父上帝那里的宣言，上帝的祝福，从未停。
上帝见证了他们的爱情，婚姻，宣誓。
无比的感动。

父啊！你曾放弃过我吗？
在我很叛逆的时候。
父，你曾讨厌过我吗？
在我拒绝你的时候。

牧师说，不是的。
上帝从未放弃过我。
希伯来书13章5节下半节：上帝说，我总不撇下你，也不丢弃你。

主啊！你为何那么看得起我呢？
我灰心了主。。。 你知道吗？
告诉我，我应当靠什么去支撑呢？
主啊！你听见我吗？
你告诉我，好吗？
只要是你说的，我都听。。。
我只靠你喜乐，我的阿爸天父。