My Interview at OXXXX

Eventually, I have went for the interview. Felt guilty in the morning when I went to take the MC from panel clinic. But, why should I feel that? Since the 'Kan Seong' took away our public holiday, I should take back by claiming MC(s).

The HR people has made the appointment with me at 3.30. I used to be reach earlier for every appointment or event, as so, I reached there at 3.10pm. The first impression is that, wow, their building is so 'old'. One thing cannot be deny is that, although it's old, but it will definitely better than where I am now. Well, I'm saying the working attitude and the management, perhaps?

The guard guided me the way but did not go with me. I just follow his instuction, scaring that will go to the wrong place. He said, I should press '2' inside the lift. But outside of the lift, it shows that HR is at level 3. It really confused me.. and my heart is saying: what a 'siao' guard. Haha.. but when I went into the lift, It shows, G, 1 and 2.... So what should I say? Siao people who put the laminated paper outside of the lift, indication 1, 2, 3 instead of G, 1, 2?

The lift is very small, which can only load for maximum of 6 people. It's rectangular size, 450KG the heaviest. I was alone in da lift and it reminded me about the so call ghost movie I watched during lunch time in the office. Keep praying in my heart....

When I reach the HR department in the 2nd floor, I don't know which way should I go. Turn left is the staircase and right to the office. So, it should be right. I'm so so so super pai seh when I step into the office. Their cubicle is the low one, and everbody can see you walking. You see, i'm ALONE! and where shall I go? who shall I look for? who shall I ask? I thought the HR who called me should have waited me there??? I like a siao people, walking in, without any direction. Unlike here, oursiders can wait in the room, which do not need to go into office where people can see you. OK, I simply ask a girl that I came there for interview and where should I go. She appointed me into one room in front of her cubicle. I seat there, fill in the form and there came another Indian woman which intension is for interview, too.

After filled in the form, I just look around and felt that, hmmm... really an old building ya... and it's soooooooo quiet. Nobody makes fun. All of them are working so seriously.. and one thing is, the cubicle again... low cubicle, which do not have any P&C. If I join, how am I going to do 'illegal' things? Hehehheheeeee...

It's 3.45pm, the interview should be start at 3.30. I do not have a good patience. I sms ah ling saying that I waited there for so long d... but din even see the shadow of the interviewer. Doing nothing there....so i just smiled with the Indian who seat on the other table. Then we started to chat. Well, she is from Intel, working as a technician. She asked where I'm from and I told her where I am from. She said: Oh~! I thought MXXX-CXXXXXXX is good? Then I said, oh, Intel is also good ma... Yes, she said, Intel is good but her line will moving to Kulim and she does not want to go. This is her reason to get a new job. She told me a lot of Intel's benefit.. Wow! Seems like Intel is a place to korek money. She said that every clip of eyes you can see the increase of money. One year have lots of bonus, profit sharing, share option, bla bla bla.... Hmmmm... in the conversation, she feels very worry about her work and always emphasis that she does not want to go to Kulim as she haa bought a house here and alraedy had a baby girl which is only 8 months old.. pity her.

The HR lady walked in and told me that my interview will be postpone until 4.30pm because the interviewer is having a tele-conference with German. SucXss..... a few minutes later, the Indian woman has being called for the interview and I seat there day dreaming until the HR lady called me to another room.

There were 2 interviewes, one is around late 40's and one is around late 20's. Hardly remember their name, I think is Serena and Lamp? Lamp??? hahahha... the pronousation is 'lamp' but i don't know how it really spells. The older woman asked me to tell her about my first job until the current one. I started to kap kap kap, and she ask ask ask... Until she ask me why I terminated my first job. Well, the answer is, I'm being called to Thailand and I refused to. So, I quit and join the curent company. They seems not comfortable when I gave them this answer because they usually have business trip to Germany. Before I went for the interview, OR before I apply for the job, I knew that they used to have business trip to Germany. I just SAJA click and do not expect they will call me for an interview. I felt not comfortable, too, when they TRYING to pursuade me that going for the business trip to Germany is actually good and comman and ..... a bunch of reasons... The old lady said that what I'm doing now is 100% suit for the person she is looking for. Of course la... I'm here doing all the ASP.net, VB.net work everyday and alone =( All the SDLC is done by me.. There, the main just is only develop.. the rest is for others to do.. no need to talk to the end user and no need to do the documentation.. much more easier compare to here.

I think my face has showed a DENYING expression to go for business trip. Is just like that Indian woman, who is so worry to be relocate to Kulim. Ok, if you are the ready who read my blog, will ask, if you do not want to go to business trip and you have knew that company will send their employee to Germany, why do you go for the interview. I'll reply you that, If I do not go for the interview, then my name will be black listed. So I rather go and simply answer, simply write the expected salary (to a very very high $$$)... =)

My passion of getting that job is totally 0 (zero). Actually I have a feelling of, please do not call me, please do not call me.... yes, i really don't feel to receive their phone call for second interview or even an answer of, you are being hire.

It is already the second day after my interview. While working in the office today, my phone rang. A number that I have never seen. I pick up the call and the woman at the other side said that: Hi, this is XXX calling form OXXXX. My heart beat is soooo strong + fast. I'm so so so worry that they want me. Well, she tell me that, Ms. Loh, one of your original certificate has accidentally left at our offfice. Could you come over and collect it from the guard house? Phewww...... Ho Cai! But Kanasai is that, I have to waste my time again going to that place. Shit!

To stay or to leave?

This question has been staying in my mind since years ago?

Well, I belive that evething has it's pros and cons. It's just to weight the priority. A simple life, in an old environment, or take the challenge at a new environment.
I've been asking myself whether should I stay here to have a steady working environment, which reach office at 8.30 and go home sharp at 5.30 or take the risk of working in a more time consuming work place. Hmm.. why should I think so far away? I'm not yet being offered, I'm not yet being reported to work. This is me, I like to think far and negative.

But I know that, I'll have a very hard feeling if I really leave here. My lovely friends, my lovely cubicle =P

I don't know whether you guys should wish to good luck or not.. just let it be.

Time for God

I have read a forward email.. saying that, we Christian always have an excuse of: we do not have time for church activities, church things etc..

There is one sentence:

I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God held a book; It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said : Your name I cannot find.

I once was going to write it down...

But never found the time"

This sentence awaken me. I rarely read such a long forward email. But, I don't know what makes me read this long passage till the end and I found out the sentence that make me feel anxiety. Is God telling me something? Or I'm too sensitive to thought that God wants me to see this?

I'm scare that He could not find my name. I'm even scare that He could not find my parents and my brother's name. Oh Lord, please don't give up me and my family. Please hold us and strengthen out faith on you. Please let us put You in our first priority in no matter what situation.

At times, human will "blame" God by not blessing them. But I felt that, hard times let us to be even closer to God. Most of the successful human being are arrogant and do not believe in God. They even thought that they are holding and controling their own future without any help or blessing from God.

Oh Lord, please let us to have time for You always...

Materialistic

Since when I was so materialistic? Since when I like branded stuffs? Have not been buying branded since I left secondary school. Those days in school, really mad of branded things... school bags, pencil box, socks, clothes, watch and etc. I believe that this is fully influenced by the friend surrounding us everyday. You could not even raise up your head if you join them without branded stuffs. Maybe I do not have confident enough and this is the reason I have to follow the branded trend in order for me to feel i'm on a higher position. I used to keep the money just to buy costly branded stuffs. Most of them were presented by my rich aunt. After graduated from school, my life changed, as my friend surrounded me changed. At least no more Guess, Quicksilver... Viewing my friends' facebook, saw that everybody has their own LV, Gucci, Coach and Burberry's bag. Wow, seems like they have upgraded. I wonder why they have so much money to buy those super branded bags with a clerk's salary? At least, me at an executive level could not afford to get one for myself... yes, even I work like a shit. Should I treat myself better? Just an appreaciation to myself? Hmmm..........Sometimes when I view on their photos, I felt I'm so luckly to have those good friends which are at the same stingy level as me =P So that I can save money for my family or in fact my old age time.

Typoon

What the heck! Kena 1 bom yesterday and 2 boms this morning =(

He

I'm writting this sepcially for one of my friend, a great good friend.

I knew him since I was 18, which is 8 years ago.
He is a very aggresive type...aggresive in all things except studies.
We get close together in second semester...Since then, he will come and find us in the evening with his father's car.
Of course, his excuse to his parents was, to do assignments =)
As a student who stay in the hostel, I do not have any transport and he is our driver who fetch us here and there.
Sometimes, he used his motorcycle to fetch me for class.
My result has dropped from GPA 3.6 in the first semester to 2.9 in the second semester. Reason being is because we used to go for games and bowling in midlands park. By getting influence by another friend of mine, we have blamed him for fetching us here and there.. bad huh?

Came into the third semester and we have stopped all those gaming things in midlands park. Third semester's workload is not that heavy as it only contained 2 subjects. We used to chit chat in the study room and at times, we played 'Chor Dai Dee' at the corridoor outside of the study room.

Yes, we were very playful at that time, which they will come to my house for card game or heart attack game which propose by him.. as he is our CEO (Chief Entertainment Officer) at that time.

Until he has a admire, he slowly leave the gang, which he will pay more attention on that girl. Ko, remember J? Hahaha...

He failed to win the girl's heart and he came back to the team. Sometimes, Sam will talk bad of him. But, who is perfect in this world? But I admit that I got myself involve in the topic.. yes, i'm so so bad.

He used to call me during weekend when I went back to Butterworth house, using his father's cell phone. Sometimes, I'll call him by using my dad's cell phone, too =P
We can talk whatever topic we want. He gave me courage, confident, advice... just like a big brother of mine. All the scene is clearly in my mind...

Eventually, we have finished our diploma studies and have to go over to KL to continue our degree and advanced diploma. His parents might not want him to stay with us as he is suffering for some sickness... This is the reason why we did not rent the same house. At that time when we pay for the deposit, he still could not make the decision. But at last, he rent a house just next to my block.

A gang of 7 person, we eat together, play together, go to class together. He was so eagerly to get a girl friend at that time =P
We used to have a celebration at Telephone Steamboat after our examination. This is the most luxury dinner we had at that time. He used to play game till midnight and caused his sickness to 'visit' him again. The new PC, pentium IV at that time, could not even stand the heat until he took of the casing in order to put a table fan to cool down the processor. Ai Ling, used to complain the expensive electricity bill as he always non stop playing game with PC and iron his pyjamas =)

After he tag along with BE, I had a feeling of being left behind. Yes, because he told us before he had a girl friend, that he is the 'Zhong Sek Heng Yao' type. Until one day, he said to me that, he will not leave me alone. Which I felt so warm in the heart.

Year passed, we have all graduated and came into the working life. Seldom we gather together. I have forgotten since when we planned to have at least one time gathering in a month. We planned for travel, this and that...

This morning, he asked me whether to join him for Christmas celebration at Singapore. Yes, I wanted to go and felt extremely excited and happy. The happiness just last for 3 minutes until I received his next reply. He said that the plan is partly for his research to work there. He is planning for the migration after he works there for certain time. I felt like, huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................... a leak gas balloon... so so heavy in the heart. Yes, Singapore is not far from Malaysia. But that feeling is like, he is leaving us to stay in another far far far place. Bad feeling, bad mood. Anyway, I knew that he is making this decision in order to provide his future family a good living condition. No doubt, he is a responsible man. Whatever he planned, I'll fully support him, as he used to support me.

Ko, no matter how far you plan to go (UK, US, or other planet), you'll always so close with me.

Clown & Bridge

I feel that I'm like a bridge.
I even feel that I'm like a clown.

A bridge which join destination A to B, letting PEOPLE to cross the river.
PEOPLE cross the river by using the bridge until certain time.... and destroyed the bridge because they no longer crossing the river from destination A to B.

Again, I'm a bridge which join destination C to D, for the same person to cross.
Again, the person demolish me after they crossed the river from C to D.

and E to F, G to H.....

WTF!!!! Again and again!

AND NOW, I'm like a clown! which acted so stupidly to be the bridge!

The Ugly One

Since when I'm so pesimistic? Since when I hate this world?
As a child of the God, I should love this world. I know that I'm so bad to hate it.
I have told Cao Mei If I'm God that created 'HUMAN', I'll definitely destroy this cruel and ugly world.
What is the purpose of letting those ulgy human being to be the controller of this world?
The earth was so beautiful... the selfishness of human being to develop the country, the world... global warming is one of the bad impact.
Human keeps complaining that the weather is getting hot compare with last time. But, do they ever think why this scenario could happend? Even simply throwing trash will caused bad impact to this lovely world. Do they ever think before?
Human being just knows how to complain... never think of a solution to solve the problem.

I agreed to my friend, who said that we are now at stage 2 and 3. Perhaps, we have grown. Never have a childhood or youngsters thinking anymore after we have seen the real world. I do not have peace in my heart anymore. Anxiety fills the whole heart. I had dream before that my dad die of spreading disease. I'm so worry that this dream will be true. I've tried to forget the scene in the dream but I could not. Hmmm..... I really hope that I can have a peace like the river.

Until now, I don't even know what God created human. If He knows that human can betray him, will He still create human? Oh ya~ I've forgotten that, God is being betrayed by human. So, it's not surprise if we human are being betray by human themselves too...

Argghhhhh~~!!!!!!! Really don't know how to release the anger of my heart. Maybe I'm too 'gray' to see things so evil.. Every single thing she did will let me have a feeling of being betrayed!!!

耻辱

过桥拆板者，可耻！！！

I really appreciate a friend of mine who has awaken me:

I believe that some people are innocent or good at beginning….then when gets bully, we fight back! and sometime, in order to survive, we turn evil too….unknowingly….
So, who’s fault is that? The evil that bully us into being evil? Or us for not standing firm on being a good person?

I don't know what kind of person I am. But, I'm trying to be good at the beginning. In order to protect myself, I have no choice but to be EVIL! I'm not a saint that can stand firm when I'm being bullied.

End Time

世界的尽头近了吗？
很多的事已经应验了圣经里启示录的记载。
早上又听见收音机的新闻报道，有2宗地震。
差不多，每天都会听见地震的消息。

Matthew 24:5-8 “For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places.”

心里面，即期待，但又害怕。
我会被遗漏吗？
我家人会被遗漏吗？
到时侯的逼迫我会忍受的住吗？
主会放弃我吗？

住啊！恳求你给我凭着信心去走你喜悦的道。
求我远离试探。

Burden

I've been very busy for the passed weekend.
Actually, I hate the life now. I just wanted to have a relaxing life without any pressure and burden.
But I know I couldn't because I'm the pillar of my dad. I could not even let him know that I felt stress now.
Non stop working. My eyes stick on the lap top more than 10 hours a day. I think the power has gone up as I felt blur even I wear spectacles.
Refusing to change a spectable is becuase I have used up the RM200 subsidy from company. Perhaps I should go for one next year.
When can the busy life stop?
Another conversation carried up between me and dad lat night.
He said that I have given him confident. Confident of retirement.
On the other hand, my burden and pressure has increased.
But, I'm willing to.
主说：凡劳苦担重担的到我这里来，我必使你们得安息。
Pray to God for taking away my burden.

Movie

I'm going for movie this Saturday with my college gang. I'm so thankful and greatful that we still tag along to each other so closely although we have our own busy life and just have a once in a while's gathering.

We are going for a comedy this round.. yea, it's cantonese comedy. Perhaps, somebody might think that, it's not worth watching cantonese movie in the cinema. A lot of people will watch action movie which might need a good sound system.

But as for me, if I enjoy the movie, then it's fine. Just like, somebody likes cartoon a lot and they did enjoy watching in the cinema... but not for me. I do not watch cartoon since I was in secondary school... Yes, not even one like Monter Inc., Finding Nemo, and some which I could not even remember it's name.

Tang tang tang tang.... this is the movie I'm going for:






















Starring: Louise Koo, Sandra Ng.
I've seen the sausage lips on Sandra Ng on the poster. Which is really very stupid funny. Year passed and I have changed my movie taste from horror to comedy.. just to release tense during non working time. What is the purpose of using the brain to guess what the movie tries to show? It could not stop my brain for working.

Looking forward for the movie =)

Chinese

Chinese, a wonderful race in this world.
You can see chinese everywhere in this world and the population of chinese is the largest.
Chinese will do anything for their own sake. They don't mind betraying their friends, family and even their own conscience.
Early in the morning, I have awaken by cao mei's morning call.
Yes, I'm going to queue up for AS1M today.
I reached there at 6.30 am and did not expect that the queue was so long.
We are the 40th - 44th position even we reached 15 minutes earlier than the first time for ASM.
All are chinese, as expected.
Living in non-chinese country, we have to learn the theory of 适者生存 which translate in english is 'survival of the fittest'.
Nobody helps us and thus we have to depend on ourselves. Nothing in this world can obstruct chinese to do what they want.
Maybe the tough situation makes oneself to be independent.
Have to thanks to the person who ever tested our patience.

自私

我承认我很自私。
很多时候，当你想开始做某件事情，很多人会泼你冷水，不把事情看好。
但当你把某件事情办得很妥当，就会有很多人涌着你而来。
完全没有想过你的成功是因为你的付出。
他们只想跟你分享你现有的成绩。
这也难怪我很自私的把你拒绝。

Boring

Boring boring boring...
Althought it's already 1.45am, but I still don't feel like sleeping.
I do not wish to waste my time just to sleep... Maybe I felt that sleeping is wasting of my time.
I rather sit here to suft the Internet... I think i'm a bit psycho.